Having first person access to SC, Ranger and Tootles, I have a direct relationship and a thorough understanding of where SC is coming from in her previous post. She is a wonderful person and does deserve the attention that is missing in her life. So does Ranger, Tootles and I do as well. The timing of when that attention must be observed and attended to is complicated Four times in the relationship that we all share. it is to say the least, a delicate balance.
I was very pleased by the comments that were received on this matter as it does give me a sense of not being alone in the darkness. I suppose no matter where you are or what you are engaged in, you are never truly alone even though it might seem that way.
SC’s post on this subject launched a horrific fight between Tootles and I. She too lacks the attention she requires and deserves from me. One of the comments received on SC previous post on this matter mirrors my situation exactly.
The only difference being that SC’s post has inspired me to be more proactive in my own quest in finding the answers without having to look back at the mistakes I made at a later time when irreparable damage has been done.
That has already happened to some extent and thanks to one of the commenter’s on this subject, I have gained renewed energy to continue the battle to make things right in my core and extended family.
As I write this post, Tootles and I are coming to the end of a 4 day scrap. Neither one of us has the energy to fight anymore. We are that stubborn about our belief systems and values.
SC hates it when I bring this up but it must be included in any conversation I have with people like us that experience similar problems.
Tootles and I have been together for 30 years. I am 46 and she is 44. We have seen every fight there is to see. I have physical indicators of how hard we actually fight and she has emotional scars that will never exit her mind.
For what reason?
The lack of attention.
We all need it, we all want it and I for one believe that is is something that will never be fully satisfied on this plane of existence. However; we still strive for it.
I have a great many things that I take for granted. I have Three wonderful girls that Tootles and I have raised to be responsible and formidable women; I have I have Two young son’s that are off to a very good start in life and I can look forward to teaching the many wonders of the life they have ahead of them; I have a wonderful husband that keeps me true to myself by example; my wonderful Tootles remains the pillar of my confidence in that love will overcome; and SC is my nearest and dearest friend and lover.
She IS my wife and I try to be her husband in light of the fact we can’t live together right now.
Ranger and Tootles share a union that has far more dynamics and underlying currents than is shared by SC and I. In a very real sense, if you know them well enough, the undertones scream at you while they never exchange a word.
I personally do not understand this but I do know that the relationship they share must be respected by their terms. Not mine.
Tootles and Ranger never fight. I tend to think that is because they both have very explosive personalties and neither of the Two are willing to test those waters at the risk of… Well… Who really knows?
SC and I do fight. Quite often in fact. She and I can never stay angry at each other for very long whether we are right or wrong. We are the communicators and we know that is our roll in the overall picture. This is at times a point of contention with Ranger and Tootles but both realize that if SC and I didn’t do what we do and when we do it, there would be no family element to rescue. So consequently, they put up with our emotional upheavals and move on to the next duty of the day. To their credit, they do ignore the fact that SC and I fight. In comparison. What SC and I would consider a minor squabble would amount to prison time for Ranger and Tootles so that fact must be respected by SC and I.
Ranger and Tootles acknowledge this as well and it is an unspoken law.
Never dare piss them off when they are together.
I think that SC and I have done a pretty good job of abiding this rule but she is right. Everyone needs and deserves the attention they expect.
Many times I fall short on giving Tootles and SC the attention they deserve. It is stated very well in the comments section of the previous blog by my Princess herself.
I would encourage anyone that reads this post to take a very good look at what your own needs are and do your very best to fulfill the needs of those you care about the most.
That is what life is all about.
Doc
It’s Memorial Day weekend here in the States. This is a time where we choose to remember all who have gone before us, but in particular men and women of the military who have died. While I don’t want to undermine the validity of the holiday, I do think it’s a fun time to throw out a little fantasy that might not pop into very many heads very often…